Life can be one thankless task after another.
Life Coach Carole Ann Rice applauds those who still bother regardless.
The “why do I bother?” sigh is that of the unsung hero. It's the cry from the heart of every mother whose thousands of unseen and unnoticed acts of kindness leave her weary and resigned. It's the lot of the quietly diligent worker who does above and beyond what is required whilst someone less talented but more voluble gets the professional breaks.
It's the frown that says it would be nice to be thanked when you send a gift on a loved one's birthday. It's he shrug of resignation that you are the only one in the house who sees the laundry and items left on the stairs to be taken up as, yet again, you find yourself blindly tripping your way, arms laden distributing other people's things like in-house delivery service.
You put yourself out and do good turns, are dutiful and long suffering, stoically tolerating unbearable situations and selfish people and where's your nod of recognition? Why bother indeed? Weirdly the word “bother” sounds strangely English and a lightweight word that really covers the deeper more existential need for connection and purpose in a life that doesn't seem to care.
Not bothering is a sign of disconnect. It takes energy and commitment. When we don't bother to mind our health, brush our teeth, keep our bodies or homes clean and neat, dispose of our rubbish ethically and ecologically, to pay our dues and be of service in some way life loses its meaning.
Many do opt out.
It's a tough call though when “bothering” is a thankless task and it's so easy to slide into the alternative of sloth and ultimately despair.
In his book Do It Anyway (New World Library) author Kent M. Keith talks about finding personal meaning and deep happiness by living the paradoxical commandments. He suggests we find our true connection to life and joy by giving whole-heartedly and doing things that often go against the gain, won’t bring financial reward or recognition but will fill your heart in a way just aiming for achievement, wealth and success may not.
It's finding love and kindness with difficult people even though they may not recognize it. Do it anyway. Even when you are over looked and nobody notices your efforts. Do it anyway. Always the one left clearing up, putting your hand up first to volunteer or playing host for community events? Do it anyway.
As Keith says: “Our personal meaning and deep happiness doesn't depend on the way the world treats us. They depend on how we respond to the way the world treats us. How we respond is always up to us. It's our decision. It's about our inner lives, the part of the world that we control”.
This is a lovely book for all of us who feel overlooked or out on a limb while the world seems oblivious to your efforts. With a switch in your thinking you can live with meaning and ditch the resentment.
So, some questions for you today to being a deeper connection and a sense of purpose:
What can you do right now to make yourself deeply happy?
What can you do right now that will make someone else deeply happy?
Why don't you do it?
Thank you for bothering.
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