The Diary of Miss Darcy Bustle: 1 January

I don’t like to boast, but I think I might have got more presents than any of my friends. Duffle got three things, and Lulu Guinness only got two – well, she is a cat. Duffle says that if my head gets any bigger, I’ll struggle to get through the door. But I don’t care. I haven’t stopped wearing my new red bandana from PetsPyjamas, sent to me by Wilson, the office dog there. He also sent me little bags to carry around the park, which is less romantic but still, it does show that he has a practical side, which is very helpful in a potential suitor. Confusingly, Harvey the corgi, who is called Handsome Harvey by his friends, apparently, sent me a letter telling me off for not loving corgis and also a jar of fish skin ites that he says are yummy and not very fattening. What is he implying here? I can still fit in the basket I had as a puppy, and the editor’s handbag. He also says he is sociable, well- mannered and not at all threatening to those with shorter legs than his – my legs are small but perfectly formed, I’ll have you know, Harvey! Patricia Smith sent me a loving letter saying she was sorry I’d been poorly and wanted me to have some special treats that were hypoallergenic, like salmon bites with sweet potato and sliced duck sausage with cranberry.

I have promised to share them with Duffle, but so far I don’t seem to have managed that. It is one of my New Year’s resolutions, though, to be more sharing. I just don’t want to start it too soon. The reality is that it is very tricky having New Year’s resolutions when you are a tiny miniature dachshund with a penchant for treats and cuddles. I’m destined to fail. It’s always really alarming when I get told off, as I did on our first day back at work. It’s just so hard when you’ve been allowed to snuggle up under the blanket until lunchtime. I know. All wrong. But oh so right. New Year, New Me… Haha. Well, let’s see.

See you next week (unless I’ve been fired)

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