The Diary of Miss Darcy Bustle: 17 November

Monday

Over the weekend we all watched a TV programme called The Queen’s Favourite Animals. I was a little heartbroken to discover that she doesn’t have dachshunds, and Her Majesty’s first love are corgis, but her sister Princess Margaret did have dachshunds crossed with corgis, known as dorgis (a romantic mistake that caught on apparently). Secretly, I’ve never got on with corgis, but I tend to keep my opinions to myself – I dream of red carpets and royal garden parties. The writer and historian An Wilson obviously doesn’t though, as he described them as ‘rather horrid, snappy little fox-like things.’ Naughty Andrew, no invite for you.

Tuesday

Today we got a letter from a reader who said that she had bought herself and her dog matching pyjamas. OMG, as the young people say. They look so cute! The editor, however, thinks that this is fashion going too far. Why on earth would anyone want to dress up in matching outfits with their dogs? Sometimes I think she is very unromantic. There must be another grown-up out there who wants to dress up with me?

Wednesday

It felt really nippy last night and so I dragged my basket nearer to the radiator but when I got home this evening it had been put back in the corner. outrageous. So I have dragged it back. I suspect that Lulu Guinness has complained; she has one of those hanging shelf things on the rad that means she is always toasty and smug. Like most cats, she really does think she rules the world – or at least our small part of it

Thursday

There was an article in the papers this week saying that dogs are becoming more like their owners or rather, they are becoming more manipulative. Not me, of course. I am perfect. Well, not exactly perfect but I haven’t done what some naughty dogs are doing and ‘pretending to be ill’ when they aren’t so that their human friends will stay home and play with them instead of going to work. But what I want to know is, why aren’t they going to work themselves? I’ve never taken a day off!

Friday

I am getting ready for the weekend and am rather excited. I am invited to a party and have been given a tutu to wear. Well, it isn’t really a tutu, more of a piece of net curtain with a fine band of elastic around it. Dyed pink. I do love dressing up. It’s a birthday celebration for Louis the VI, the French bulldog who lives round the corner. His human friend is big in the theatre and we have all been told to expect lots of drama, diamanté. And tears before the cake is cut, I suspect…

See you next week! Instagram @missdarcybustle

written by Miss Darcy Bustle 

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