The Diary of Miss Darcy Bustle: 23 February

written by Miss Darcy Bustle 


Over the weekend I took up a new ‘size-appropriate sport’ – miniature golf! I just don’t know how it has taken me so long to realise that this is the sport for me. They even have tiny little clubs that I can’t quite swing but I am very good at chasing the ball down the hole – in one! Duffle came along to play as well, but he really isn’t a natural. We were playing on the course on Hastings seafront, where the annual World Crazy Golf championships are held every year. The prize money is £10,000. That could buy a lot of treats!


The weather was very stormy on the beach today. To save me being blown away while I scampered around, one of the fishermen suggested that I tied a hanky full of little pebbles around my neck attached to my collar. It wasn’t terribly pleasant but it did help provide me with some ballast. He said that it was like being a famous thoroughbred racehorse, who needed a handicap to give everyone else a starting chance. I think I could achieve the same result by eating a bag of chips.


Today I read about Poppy, a black labrador who has been hailed as Britain’s luckiest dog after being run over by a train four times and surviving. She was out for a walk with her human friends when she spotted a deer and chased after it, onto the railway track, both were hit by a train, the deer died sadly but Poppy didn’t, and thankfully lay very still while another three trains went over her. A really nice operations manager came along and was able to help her get to the vets. Her owners said they were amazed ‘that the only broken bones were a couple of ribs’. Everyone here hopes you get well, Poppy, but hopes you never do that again! I despair.


Great excitement this morning – when an alert came on the editor’s Facebook page, telling her about the world’s first sausage-dog café, in Guildford. OMG, as the young people say. What utter joy! The idea is the brainchild of the people who already run a Pug cafe (they are also popular apparently) and it allows humans and doggies to come together for a mingle. Nobody has mentioned speed dating but I think there are chances for meeting boys here – not that I am man-mad, of course, but we all live in hope. It is open for a trial ‘pop up’ on 25 March so plenty of time for me to choose my outfit.


Because I was very good on holiday, I was allowed to see inside a lifeboat station. The RNLI are so brave and selfless and need our support. I offered to help – maybe as a mascot. To show them I’m keen, I’m getting my own sou’wester designed. It could start a new trend…

See you next week! Instagram @missdarcybustle