The Diary of Miss Darcy Bustle: 26 January


Over the weekend, I got a billet-doux from a rather sprightly chap called Parker. He says that he has been lusting after me for some time now (cheeky monkey) and was born at the Kings Arms in Penryn in Cornwall. His human friend, Susie, sadly lost her husband two years ago, but apparently Parker keeps her busy now – I bet he does. He saw the pictures of me on the Helford river recently as Susie’s son runs the Ferryboat Inn on the water’s edge. Duffle and I love the Ferryboat Inn as it’s dog- friendly and has fantastic food, so there is always a chance that someone will give us a titbit. So, he’s a short-haired dachshund with a rather jaunty red scarf. Could he be the one?


Even though it is a really long way off until Easter, there are some places already selling hot cross buns. The editor loves hot cross buns; in fact, all the girls here love hot cross buns, but I’m not allowed them. My friend, Miffy, a border collie cross, got into terrible trouble last year when she ran off with one from the cooling rack. She had to go straight to the vet because, like chocolate, raisins, currants and sultanas can all be fatally toxic to dogs. Just one can be enough to cause severe symptoms, the vet told Miffy’s humans. Thankfully, she was okay, but there isn’t really any fun to be had at Easter for us four-legged types.


I met a dog in the park the other day who claims to have never brushed his hair – he is a labradoodle and they really think they are the bees knees. I don’t have to brush my hair either, but that’s because I was born with the most sensible haircut a dog could have. If I wanted to tie bows in my hair, which I sometimes do, I’d have to have hair extensions, which the girls say is possible. I quite fancy long, flowing locks, although I might fall over them as there isn’t enough clearance from my head to my feet.


I’ve been reading a book called Things My Dog Has Taught Me by a young writer called Jonathan Wittenberg. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to discover that he learned so much from his furry friend, Mitzpah. How to love and care for one another with unconditional acceptance, for instance. And how to let excitement and joy bubble over in our hearts. In fact, according to Jonathan, dogs are really the tops at everything. I do hope there are some cats out there listening!


Harvey the corgi has sent me a poem or, rather, he has got Dorothy, his ‘personal two legs’ to send it to me. It’s very long – longer even than Harvey, I suspect, but it is rather jolly. I think he is very keen on persuading me into loving a corgi. Him, in fact. But then what about the love letter from Parker?

See you next week! Instagram @missdarcybustle

written by Miss Darcy Bustle