The Diary of Miss Darcy Bustle: 31 March

The Lady's office dog tells all
Monday
Over the weekend, I was invited to my friend Treacle’s house for lunch. She really does know how to entertain. Treacle is a springer spaniel who has a big box of toys. She didn’t exactly say I should help myself but, as she was tied up entertaining her other guests, she didn’t seem to notice that I gave everything a good chew. We also had a running race, and even though I have little legs, nobody thought to let me go first. Still, I did make it harder for the bigger ones by biting their ankles as they tried to dash past me.

Tuesday
Today I was supposed to write a piece about spring gardening – the editor thinks that as dogs spend so much time digging up the flower borders, they should also know how to plant them. Honestly, I do sometimes worry about her sanity. I don’t know whether I was much help with the petunias. I certainly knew how to jump in and out of the hole before I was told to grow up. Which, as everyone knows, is simply not going to happen.

1In a hole

Wednesday
There is real sadness at the office today because the lovely old café, Masters on Henrietta Street, has been forced to close by the developers. One less place for a little sausage to go for a little sausage treat.

Thursday
I have been getting very excited about my birthday and had promised not to open any of my cards or presents but one of the cards wasn’t sealed properly. It was from a very handsome golden retriever called Harry. I thought at first he was called Harry O but on second thoughts I think the O was his attempt at a paw sign. Anyway, what he lacks in penmanship, he makes up for in dishy looks. He might be a bit big for me, but they do say opposites attract.

Friday
Only one day to go till my birthday and I have been given an official warning that if I keep barking on about my birthday I will be banned from my own party. In fact, I may not get a party. OMG. What a terrifying prospect – I may have to resort to taping my own mouth shut.

Saturday
Today was my actual birthday day and I had a party. My first! I got so excited I had a little accident on the rug but for once I didn’t get told off – although I suspect the next time that happens I might get doubly told off. Even Lulu Guinness appeared to grin at me – although that might have just been a grimace from her bad tooth. I don’t want to boast, but I do think I might have got more cards than any other dachshund in England, perhaps the world. As it was a special day, I was allowed as many treats as I liked. Can you believe it? There were cheesy nibbles and chicken strips. I didn’t have cake, but I did have gravy-soaked biccies, which, as everyone knows, are so much nicer.

See you next week! Instagram @missdarcybustle