FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Neil Dudgeon
What are you working on at the moment?
I’ve just finished working on Midsomer Murders.
When are you at your happiest?
Half-time at Craven Cottage, the home of Fulham Football Club. I’m eating a chicken burger with a pint of Suffolk Gold ale and Fulham are 4-0 up against Chelsea.
What is your greatest fear?
Ill health, I suppose.
What is your earliest memory?
I must have been about four. I was in Mrs Simpson’s class, sat next to a boy called Lee Sharp and I wet myself. Mrs Simpson said, ‘Neil, is there something you would like to tell me?’ and I said, ‘Yes Miss, Lee Sharp has wet himself.’ I was sat there with steaming shorts, a puddle around the bottom of my chair and I tried to pass it off as Lee Sharp’s wee in my trousers.
What do you most dislike about yourself?
I’m impatient.
Who has been your greatest influence?
In a strange way I would say my dad. He died when I was 18.
What is your most treasured possession?
I was talking to someone about a well-known artist and I said, ‘You must see this drawing that my granddad did when he was suffering from dementia.’ I showed it to this guy, who said, ‘Blimey, that could be by Alfred Wallis.’ My grandfather was a sailor and came from the seaside so he painted this scene of his childhood with all of these sailing boats which he loved. It’s irreplaceable.
What trait do you most deplore in others?
Greed and what it makes people do.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
How I look generally. Mirrors are a problem because you sort of forget about how you look. Being on television doesn’t help – the camera adds 10 pounds.
What is your favourite book?
Of Human Bondage by W Somerset Maugham.
Your favourite film?
Tootsie.
The TV sleuth is a fan of W Somerset Maugham and Bascom Lamar Lunsford and he enjoys steak and kidney pud and Tootsie
Your favourite record or piece of music?
I Wish I Was A Mole In The Ground by Bascom Lamar Lunsford.
Your favourite meal?
Steak and kidney pudding.
Who would you most like to come to dinner?
George Orwell, my dad, Pablo Picasso, and FE Smith (the First Earl of Birkenhead).
What is the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to you?
A director when I was at drama school, a lovely woman, said, ‘Oh darling, I saw you in the last play and you were so brilliant and now in my play you are so rubbish.’
Do you believe in aliens?
Yes.
What is your secret vice?
Fine wine and nice beer.
Do you write thank-you notes?
Yes.
Which phrase do you most overuse?
Quite camp theatrical phrases such as ‘darling’, ‘wonderful’, ‘lovely’, ‘marvellous’, and lots of swearing. That’s my other vice – swearing.
What would improve the quality of your life?
World equality, generosity, and giving everyone a fair amount of whatever so they don’t all want to murder each other.
Tell us something people might not know about you?
I spent the night in a homeless shelter. I was helping this homeless person and they said, ‘I want you to meet my friends,’ so they smuggled me into this shelter with some fascinating people.
What would you like your epitaph to read?
‘At last he is losing weight.’
Midsomer Murders returns to ITV later this month.
I’ve just finished working on Midsomer Murders.
When are you at your happiest?
Half-time at Craven Cottage, the home of Fulham Football Club. I’m eating a chicken burger with a pint of Suffolk Gold ale and Fulham are 4-0 up against Chelsea.
What is your greatest fear?
Ill health, I suppose.
What is your earliest memory?
I must have been about four. I was in Mrs Simpson’s class, sat next to a boy called Lee Sharp and I wet myself. Mrs Simpson said, ‘Neil, is there something you would like to tell me?’ and I said, ‘Yes Miss, Lee Sharp has wet himself.’ I was sat there with steaming shorts, a puddle around the bottom of my chair and I tried to pass it off as Lee Sharp’s wee in my trousers.
What do you most dislike about yourself?
I’m impatient.
Who has been your greatest influence?
In a strange way I would say my dad. He died when I was 18.
What is your most treasured possession?
I was talking to someone about a well-known artist and I said, ‘You must see this drawing that my granddad did when he was suffering from dementia.’ I showed it to this guy, who said, ‘Blimey, that could be by Alfred Wallis.’ My grandfather was a sailor and came from the seaside so he painted this scene of his childhood with all of these sailing boats which he loved. It’s irreplaceable.
What trait do you most deplore in others?
Greed and what it makes people do.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
How I look generally. Mirrors are a problem because you sort of forget about how you look. Being on television doesn’t help – the camera adds 10 pounds.
What is your favourite book?
Of Human Bondage by W Somerset Maugham.
Your favourite film?
Tootsie.
The TV sleuth is a fan of W Somerset Maugham and Bascom Lamar Lunsford and he enjoys steak and kidney pud and TootsieYour favourite record or piece of music?
I Wish I Was A Mole In The Ground by Bascom Lamar Lunsford.
Your favourite meal?
Steak and kidney pudding.
Who would you most like to come to dinner?
George Orwell, my dad, Pablo Picasso, and FE Smith (the First Earl of Birkenhead).
What is the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to you?
A director when I was at drama school, a lovely woman, said, ‘Oh darling, I saw you in the last play and you were so brilliant and now in my play you are so rubbish.’
Do you believe in aliens?
Yes.
What is your secret vice?
Fine wine and nice beer.
Do you write thank-you notes?
Yes.
Which phrase do you most overuse?
Quite camp theatrical phrases such as ‘darling’, ‘wonderful’, ‘lovely’, ‘marvellous’, and lots of swearing. That’s my other vice – swearing.
What would improve the quality of your life?
World equality, generosity, and giving everyone a fair amount of whatever so they don’t all want to murder each other.
Tell us something people might not know about you?
I spent the night in a homeless shelter. I was helping this homeless person and they said, ‘I want you to meet my friends,’ so they smuggled me into this shelter with some fascinating people.
What would you like your epitaph to read?
‘At last he is losing weight.’
Midsomer Murders returns to ITV later this month.