Getting control of anxiety

It’s almost impossible to avoid the word anxiety these days.

Everything you read, everywhere you look there’s a sign or a news article talking about people’s struggles with some aspect of mental health.

Endless pressure and demands are being put on specialists and nurses, and the truth is they just can’t keep up.

I had the opportunity to speak with Tom, a Mental Health Coach who is empowering his clients to start living their best life through the skills he teaches them and allowing them to be free from anything that may have held them back in the past.

From low self-esteem to confidence issues, terrible anxiety to depression, Tom Desborough is shaking things up and is without a doubt, the most positive man I’ve ever met!

 1. Talk us through what you do and what led you to this career?

I work with people who struggle with anxiety, self-esteem and confidence issues. I do this by taking them through The Thrive Programme which is a revolutionary psychological training programme that equips people with all the skills and resources they need in order to take control and flourish in every area of their lives in terms becoming the best version of themselves. 

I found the programme a few years ago and went through it for my own reasons. Then, on completing the programme I got so much out of it I decided I wanted to look into training to become a consultant myself, so I could have an impact on changing people’s lives.  

2. How easy is it to overcome anxiety? 

I approach anxiety very differently. Other forms of interventions teach you to deal with the anxiety the client is creating and this may look like different exercises to do such as distracting themselves from the situation by colouring or breathing slowly.

I teach people about the thinking styles they are using and that they are creating the anxiety by the way they are thinking about something. I equip my client with the tools and skills they need so that they can do whatever it is in front of them and change their thinking to stop creating the anxiety in the first place.

Thinking styles are learnt behaviour, just like an accent. An accent can change in a few shorts weeks if somebody was to move to the USA and a thinking style is exactly the same. 

So, by using The Thrive Programme method it’s very easy to overcome anxiety in just a few short weeks.

3. What’s the most common thing people come to see you for?

I work with a varied age range from young teens to those in their seventies.

They all have different things going on, from a university student struggling with anxiety and exam stress, to the likes of those living life in fear daily of being sick or seeing sick also known as Emetophobia.

Then I also have people come to see me to work on building up their confidence and self- esteem whilst others have high ambitions and want to be able to cope with the stresses and strains of getting themselves to the top.

4. Why do you think so many people label themselves as having anxiety these days?

Anxiety in teenagers has increased 48% since 2005. Do you know what was launched in 2005? That’s right, Facebook.

 I’m not saying that social media is entirely to blame for anxiety increase in such a vast way, but it most certainly isn’t helping. 

The pressure people feel and put on themselves to be able to be up at 5am, in the gym, at the office an hour earlier than anybody else and leaving an hour later, call off on the way home for a drink with friends and finally cooking a gourmet meal once home is unbelievable!

Social media allows people to depict a perfect life, putting added pressure on everybody to do more than is realistically achievable. 

In the first session with a client we set a challenge, something they want to be doing. This can be exercise, yoga, prepping meals or reading more but the most requested challenge by a long way is less time spent on social media each day.

5. Give us an insight into a typical session with you

In a client’s first session, we start at the beginning with their foundations. Once these are in place we build them up piece by piece. I aim to make every sessions enjoyable and have a calm demeanour to set my clients at ease straight away.

We talk about each aspect of the programme making sure they not only have an understanding of it in theory but how to put it into practice for themselves as well. 

Clients leave our session feeling inspired and ready for the next week all whilst having learnt something about themselves and set a challenge to use this new tool. 

We don't spend time talking about the past, this is all about going forward to become the best version of themselves. 

6. Besides anxiety, what other areas do you specialise in? 

I have never specialised in a particular area of mental health, instead I have chosen to immerse myself in the programme allowing me to help a broader range of people. 

The programme specifically addresses the unhelpful belief systems and thinking styles that cause people to develop:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Stress 
  • Panic Attacks 
  • Low Self Esteem 
  • Weight / Eating Issues 
  • Habits / Addictions 
  • Fears / Phobias 
  • OCD 
  • Social Fears 
  • Emetophobia
  • PTSD 
  • Negative Emotions 
  • Grief 
  • Anger Problems 
  • Insomnia

With an ever increasing demand for alternative mental health options that do good, it would appear Tom and his services are a refreshing and welcomed change.

His way of helping appeals a lot more than the likes of dull waiting rooms and having your name added to a list that may take 6 months before you actually see someone that can help you.

If this resonates with you, or you know someone who is currently struggling with their mental health, get in touch with Tom today to move only forward this year, and finally feel free from whatever it is that’s been holding you back.