There are many things we humans routinely do to make our lives just that little bit more painful. Not that any of us would willingly chose to walk around with a pebble in our shoe or sandpaper in our pants but often we can choose a path in life that chaffs, cuts and hurts us on a deeply psychic level.
It's not even that we are wantonly masochistic it's that we don't even know that the choices we make can keep us mired in heavy anguish when the route to light-hearted freedom seems bizarrely less attractive.
If you think I am not talking about you then think again. Do you often spend time dwelling on unfinished business from the past? Not you? OK how about worrying about something that may or may not happen in the future? The little bit of grit you add to your life could be forever complaining about how bad things are instead of committing to an action list to make changes.
If you really want to raise your blood pressure decide to resist change and fear it with a passion. It's a loaded game. You will lose 100% of the time. If you are one of life's perfectionists then you will probably had a PhD in pain as nothing is quite right no matter how hard to work at it and you can't trust others, or yourself for that matter, to do the job well enough.
You may think you are being kind to yourself when you follow the path of least resistance but this lazy avoidance of risk and fresh starts means you will suffocate in the grey quicksand of the comfort zone as life shrinks to accommodate your fear. If you really want to punish yourself you will hold onto anger and blame everyone and use the olive branch of peace-making to prop up your sense of self -righteousness.
If you fancy an instant downer you will compare yourself unfavorably with others you deem more successful then find yourself mortally lacking and a really good way to fast track yourself to gloom is to play the victim and blame others for all the bad stuff in your life.
For added torture you may belittle your efforts regularly “I'm just a boring mum/office worker/astro physicist” or to add to the gloom surround yourself with people who will do that for you.
Is any of this resonating with you?
It's quite peculiar when you think about it that we choose to hurt and hinder ourselves and our lives in these ways by how we view our lot, what we choose to hold on to and nurture our wounds without a thought to healing them. You are not alone. We all sabotage our happiness levels with unworthy or anxious thoughts and with vitriolic blame when we are more powerful, blessed and in control than we think.
Notice your moods, watch your thoughts and ask questions. Dare to ask for help or guidance and commit to doing a U turn of things you think you can't change. You really are but seconds away from viewing your life more positively and, the great news is happiness is always waiting for you to claim it.
As a great Chinese proverb says – Our best day is yet to come. How thrilling.
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