The Lady Guide to Modern Manners: 1 February
Dear Thomas,
Have you ever gone skiing and stayed in a chalet with people you’ve never met before? My husband and I are going to Switzerland next week and I’m not sure what the form is.
Shirley Kilmartin, Purley
Dear Shirley,
Truth to tell, I’ve never taken a shared chalet, nor indeed a chalet of any kind. I’m unknown to the slopes. But I’ve looked into it very carefully, just for you. All the same, readers, do pile in with your own advice.
So let me explain. On skiing holidays it’s usual to share a chalet with strangers. You can go to a hotel (expensive) but to take a chalet for exclusive use you need to be a party of 16-plus. So you end up bundling in with whomever, creating often highly delicate demands in the fields of manners and etiquette.
The chalet is just like a house, with a living area where the TV is. It is run by a chalet girl or chalet boy, whose curious status also calls for unique treatment.
The chalet party eats together the food prepared by the chalet girl or boy. Friends of mine have had remarkable experiences: one was criticised by a fellow guest for his speaking voice: ‘I’m astonished you’ve got anywhere in life sounding like Kenneth Williams.’ Others, revealing some mild dabbling with drugs in their misspent youth, were told by a military wife that she could hardly go home and say that she had shared a chalet with drug addicts.
So, the chalet experience is a bracing one: it’s no good being curmudgeonly, unwilling to join in, antagonistic or of narrow, limited outlook. If you want to watch the football on TV, you’ve got to ask the others.
Honeymoon couples, with eyes only for each other, will not have an enjoyable time.
On the other hand, if I’d been there I’d have given the brute who insulted my friend’s voice absolute hell. He doesn’t sound like Kenneth Williams anyway. So you might have fun in that way.
On first meeting, you should introduce yourself to fellow guests in a jolly upfront fashion. Teasing and banter might develop over the holiday but don’t discuss money or politics or work (because it’s a holiday).
Tricky area – you might want a night to yourselves, dining out alone in a restaurant, possibly on the chalet person’s day off. But do this no more than once. Other times, never invite some from the chalet party and not others: do not form a clique.
Don’t work in the public rooms after 6pm – or sit reading. And there will be a buffet tea, during which someone must be mother but portion control is not normally a problem.
Leave complaints until the end of the week. If there is a serious complaint, speak to the resort manager. It’s hard for the chalet staff to change things.
Please send your questions to Thomas. blaikie@lady.co.uk or write to him at The Lady, 39-40 Bedford Street, London WC2E 9ER
Take out host presents: Heat magazine or Red Bull have been suggested. And The Lady, of course.
Don’t take offence if the cooking is not tip-top. They may be struggling with over-ambitious dishes. On the other hand, they don’t know any others, so it’s no good suggesting simpler alternatives to boeuf en croute, etc. The chalet person will introduce the dinner and come in at the end. Compliments are de rigueur. Behave as if you were in someone’s home.
Be punctual for meals, and don’t linger at the table for hours. The chalet host will want to clear up and go out with their friends.
Chalet staff have a day off each week. Try not to mess up the chalet – no shoes in the chalet, pack slippers, avoid smelly socks, and at least load the dishwasher while they’re off. At the end of the stay, tip them well. A total of £250 from the entire party.
Ask the chalet host if they are going to go skiing. Say, ‘Don’t hurry back on our account,’ if the answer is yes.
Have you ever gone skiing and stayed in a chalet with people you’ve never met before? My husband and I are going to Switzerland next week and I’m not sure what the form is.
Shirley Kilmartin, Purley
Dear Shirley,
Truth to tell, I’ve never taken a shared chalet, nor indeed a chalet of any kind. I’m unknown to the slopes. But I’ve looked into it very carefully, just for you. All the same, readers, do pile in with your own advice.
So let me explain. On skiing holidays it’s usual to share a chalet with strangers. You can go to a hotel (expensive) but to take a chalet for exclusive use you need to be a party of 16-plus. So you end up bundling in with whomever, creating often highly delicate demands in the fields of manners and etiquette.
The chalet is just like a house, with a living area where the TV is. It is run by a chalet girl or chalet boy, whose curious status also calls for unique treatment.
The chalet party eats together the food prepared by the chalet girl or boy. Friends of mine have had remarkable experiences: one was criticised by a fellow guest for his speaking voice: ‘I’m astonished you’ve got anywhere in life sounding like Kenneth Williams.’ Others, revealing some mild dabbling with drugs in their misspent youth, were told by a military wife that she could hardly go home and say that she had shared a chalet with drug addicts.
So, the chalet experience is a bracing one: it’s no good being curmudgeonly, unwilling to join in, antagonistic or of narrow, limited outlook. If you want to watch the football on TV, you’ve got to ask the others.
Honeymoon couples, with eyes only for each other, will not have an enjoyable time.
On the other hand, if I’d been there I’d have given the brute who insulted my friend’s voice absolute hell. He doesn’t sound like Kenneth Williams anyway. So you might have fun in that way.
On first meeting, you should introduce yourself to fellow guests in a jolly upfront fashion. Teasing and banter might develop over the holiday but don’t discuss money or politics or work (because it’s a holiday).
Tricky area – you might want a night to yourselves, dining out alone in a restaurant, possibly on the chalet person’s day off. But do this no more than once. Other times, never invite some from the chalet party and not others: do not form a clique.
Don’t work in the public rooms after 6pm – or sit reading. And there will be a buffet tea, during which someone must be mother but portion control is not normally a problem.
Leave complaints until the end of the week. If there is a serious complaint, speak to the resort manager. It’s hard for the chalet staff to change things.
Please send your questions to Thomas. blaikie@lady.co.uk or write to him at The Lady, 39-40 Bedford Street, London WC2E 9ER
WHAT TO DO… about the chalet girl or boy?
Usually they are gap year pre-students. They should be treated as equals. Chat about university courses, job prospects, etc, but don’t keep them from their work.Take out host presents: Heat magazine or Red Bull have been suggested. And The Lady, of course.
Don’t take offence if the cooking is not tip-top. They may be struggling with over-ambitious dishes. On the other hand, they don’t know any others, so it’s no good suggesting simpler alternatives to boeuf en croute, etc. The chalet person will introduce the dinner and come in at the end. Compliments are de rigueur. Behave as if you were in someone’s home.
Be punctual for meals, and don’t linger at the table for hours. The chalet host will want to clear up and go out with their friends.
Chalet staff have a day off each week. Try not to mess up the chalet – no shoes in the chalet, pack slippers, avoid smelly socks, and at least load the dishwasher while they’re off. At the end of the stay, tip them well. A total of £250 from the entire party.
Ask the chalet host if they are going to go skiing. Say, ‘Don’t hurry back on our account,’ if the answer is yes.