Dear Thomas
I’m a bit mystified. Since you have famously decreed that dinner parties must end at 10.30pm, where does that leave us on New Year’s Eve? My husband and I have been invited to a dinner on that day, but by what time should we be firmly out of the door?
Felicity Lovell, Felixstowe
Dear Felicity
I think you’re teasing me. Although, who knows, such is my world influence and that of The Lady, maybe this year the length and breath of the country guests will be seen fleeing New Year’s Eve events on the dot of 10.30pm.
No, you can’t leave before midnight. We can all agree on that. But how soon after? Can you bolt as Big Ben sounds his final bong? (Big Ben is to bong this year, despite his tower being in restauro). Not really. I think you must wait 20 minutes, if not 30. You have to wish everybody Happy New Year. You don’t want to appear perfunctory or only there on sufferance – because it’s important to wish everybody Happy New Year.
At Sandringham, HM The Queen has been known to have New Year brought forward an hour or so if she wants to go to bed. But possibly in the world outside the Royal circle such a practice would be resented.
While we’re on the subject, I hope your friends have invited you for later than usual. Maybe 8.30 or even 9. You don’t want a hideous gap between the end of dinner and the midnight hour. One answer is lots of courses. Hosts should try to cover all the food groups – my friend Malcolm Hunter always makes a fish shape from a 1970s cook book. It’s the only cooking, or rather opening of tins, he does all year. Then there can be the seafood, the pâtés, the meat main, the salads, the cheeses, the jellies, the meringues, the gateaux. Rather than hanging round waiting for midnight, the hosts will be rushing to complete service.
As on all great festive occasions, the weight of expectation can be crushing and some resent that it’s compulsory to be happy. Others assume that delirious festiveness will overwhelm them just by virtue of being there. In reality, light, well-placed effort is called for.
Conversation, as at Christmas, is often at an all-time low. Don’t be too busy whooping and shrieking to take any notice of anybody else, especially newcomers. Don’t make the mistake of feeling that if your conversation can’t be as delirious and festive as the occasion, it’s better to say nothing at all. The old banal stand-bys are never more needed: holidays, knitting, hobbies. Ask questions (but don’t grill). If you set out to find out about people – well, you’ll find something out. Very Happy Christmas and New Year to you all.
Please send your questions to thomas.blaikie@lady.co.uk or write to him at The Lady, 39-40 Bedford Street, London WC2E 9ER
WHAT TO DO ABOUT...January sales
First of all, let it be said: there’s no shame in being a sales shopper. All through the Harrods sale, there are just as many chauffeurs waiting outside in limos as at any other time. If it’s good enough for them… but what about actually being there at 9am on opening day, raging through the door as soon as it’s opened and pounding straight for the vacuum cleaner department? Can one be a lady or a gentleman in such circs? These scenes of mayhem at sales are nothing new. Years ago elegant coiffured ladies smashed up the China department at Harrods in a frenzy of bargain hunting. Shops can manage things better though: this year, I notice, there were no outrages on Black Friday. So a lady, or gentleman, can probably risk attendance at the very opening of a sale in the hope of achieving the greatest bargains. But be sure to remain gracious and unhurried in the event of a stampede. Even so, would it not be better to sail graciously into the sale, a few hours later, when the hurly-burly’s done? The true lady will still be utterly confident of bagging the best bargains.
