The Lady Guide to Modern Manners: 28 February

Miffed with a local business and considering sharing your comments online? Thomas Blaikie advises
Dear Thomas,
I’m rather miffed with my little local dry-cleaner. My cream skirt came back with orange stains all over it. They refuse to take responsibility. A friend suggested ‘posting’ a review online. But I’ve no idea how to do this. Also, I don’t want to become what I believe is called ‘an internet troll’.
Faith Shillingford, Southampton

Dear Faith,
‘Internet trolls’ have been in the news recently. Indeed, some of them have been put in prison. Isabella Sorley and John Nimmo were sentenced for sending threatening tweets to Caroline Criado-Perez and Stella Creasy MP, who are campaigning for more women on banknotes.

This is the extreme end. I’m not suggesting that you’ll be tempted to launch an online hate campaign against your dry-cleaner. Nevertheless, as your friend says, it is possible to ‘review’ all kinds of businesses and services through websites such as www.yelp.co.uk and certain issues do arise.

I should declare an interest as someone who has been reviewed online. In the ‚first place, will what you write really be a review or more in the nature of a complaint? Do you know that your dry-cleaner covers all cream skirts in stains and always refuses to take the blame?

You may hope that the threat of bad publicity will get you somewhere. But it might not, it might just in‡flame the situation. Or you may wish simply for revenge.

The trouble is, a review, whether online or in print, is supposed ‚first and foremost to provide other readers with valuable insights and information. But frequently, on websites, you ‚find reviews of local businesses all saying entirely diŠ erent things – some glowing, some withering. What you get is a string of anecdotes in which random individuals relay their personal experiences, satisfying for them, no doubt, but of little general interest.

Surely, you say, more reviews would produce a clearer picture? Not really, only worse fragmentation. Besides, do you really want to read 150 reviews before deciding where to get a cup of tea and a bun?

As things stand, I have my doubts about online reviewing facilities accessible to all. Why is someone reviewing and what for? These websites need editors to shape the material into a concise and useful overview.

I suggest that you pursue your dry-cleaner in private. I sued mine in the County Court. If I’d had a review up while sub judice, it could have counted against me. Air your complaint online as a last resort, but if you get a happy resolution, how about removing it – are you going to hold a grudge forever?

Please send your questions to Thomas.blaikie@lady.co.uk or write to him at The Lady, 39-40 Bedford Street, London WC2E 9ER

HOW TO… LOOK IMMACULATE

At this time of year, chiming in with my previous attack on smelly outer garments in the doctor’s waiting room on a wet morning, I’m also troubled by overcoats, car coats, etc, that haven’t been brushed. My friends are astonished that I always carry a clothes brush in my bag. Anxiety sets in if I’m parted with it, as happened at the weekend when I visited Hastings and found that I’d left it behind. Fortunately, my new waxed mac doesn’t cling – which is to say, nothing clings to it. It might graze, but that’s another matter.

I’ve mentioned before that I once visited Harrogate and have never seen coats in such outstanding condition. They brush in Harrogate, before leaving the house and while out, I imagine. Brushing also preserves much better than dry-cleaning, which ruins fabric. Before dry-cleaning, all clothes that wouldn’t wash were only ever brushed and sponged.

Another route, taken by the Queen, is never to buy velvet or any clinging material. If you must buy, commit to brushing. Also, no pets.