MY BEST EVER PRESENT… and why society starts at home
Kirstie Allsopp is in a reflective mood, telling me about the best present she ever received. ‘Yes, I know you’re not supposed to get dogs at Christmas, but 15 years ago my parents gave me a beautiful Border terrier puppy, named Foxy. It wasn’t like she was wrapped up in a bow or anything like that,’ she sniggers, ‘it just so happened that they got me her in December.’
Either way, Foxy and Kirstie became inseparable. ‘I had her before any children, before I met my partner, Ben. While I was searching for flats for people in the early days, she would come in the car. She was with me all the time.’
In fact, Kirstie has even dedicated her new book, Christmas Crafts, to her, ‘the best Christmas present I ever had’.
‘Foxy was just brilliant around the children. She came into my life when I was on my own and all the focus was on her and then suddenly I had my two stepsons – who were two and five when I met them – and then two sons of my own, too.
‘I once found her in the tree house – she had let one of the children climb into the tree house with her and obviously they had forgotten she was there and had gone and done something else. But she was incredibly tolerant about the whole thing.’
Earlier this year, however, Foxy died. ‘I was bereft,’ says Kirstie. ‘But my mum was amazing. When my parents lost their cat they were completely grief-stricken, so she anticipated that we had it in our genes to be absolutely heartbroken when we lost an animal, and found me another dog.’
Dandelion – or ‘Dandy’ – was an eight-week-old Border terrier puppy, living on a farm near Tiverton in Devon. And just days after losing her beloved Foxy, Kirstie had a new dog.
‘When Mum first called to tell me about Dandy, I thought, “No way! That’s too soon,” but I knew how hard she had worked to find her. And besides, getting a new pet doesn’t stop you missing the old one, but it is definitely a distraction. The two things run in parallel – the grief and excitement and the love of the new character.’
Dandy has settled right in, but certainly doesn’t suffer the children as gladly as her predecessor. ‘It’s really funny, she is much less tolerant of them than Foxy was. Foxy was very old and quite ill towards the end but Dandy just absolutely gives them what for.
‘In fact, having a puppy with small children [her sons are five and seven] is a nightmare,’ she adds. ‘All the things you have to teach the puppy, all the good habits, the children just completely ignore.
‘At first I tried to make it my eldest, Bay’s responsibility, but that didn’t work at all. One morning, I came downstairs and Bay was happily sitting in front of the television with the dog on his knee. I asked if he’d taken Dandy out and he said “no”, and I said, “Oh darling, you’ve got to take her out, so that she can do a poo,” and he said, “Oh no, Mum, she’s done a poo. It’s fine, she did one when I did one in the bathroom. Isn’t that clever?”
‘She had indeed done a poo in the bathroom, but it was in the middle of the floor.’
In fact, Kirstie, who is an ambassador for Keep Britain Tidy, has strong views about the responsibilities of dog ownership. Not least what owners should do with thei dog’s… err… deposits. For Kirstie, this is a zero-tolerance issue. ‘Oh, it’s very simple and it’s really interesting how much objection people have to this. It should be a £500 fine for leaving dog mess in a public place. And if you can’t, or won’t, pay, you should have to give up some time and do litter picking for four Saturdays or four Sundays.’
What particularly upsets her, however, is people picking up their dog’s mess, bagging it, and then leaving it hanging in a tree. ‘I have no truck with the complaints about the lack of bins because it is your responsibility to take it home. You don’t just poo in the street because there’s not a loo there. There are things that we think are acceptable and unacceptable and I think dropping litter should move from the acceptable to the unacceptable.
‘It’s the same with fag ends. It is your litter and your responsibility – take it home. We spend £1bn a year clearing up litter. How many vulnerable adults could we help, how many mental health nurses and home visitors could we employ for £1bn? I do not pay my taxes to have litter picked up; I pay my taxes to help vulnerable people.
‘There are a lot of votes in litter. If you mention it on Twitter, you get a huge response. So I have never understood why the past two governments haven’t got a grip and realised that it’s important to people. It seems a no-brainer to me. Who would stick up their hand and say. “I would like a filthy street”?’
As well as Foxy, Kirstie’s new book is dedicated to the work of Home-Start UK.
The charity’s mission is simple: ‘To help families with young children deal with whatever life throws at them.’ Perhaps they are dealing with postnatal depression, disability or financial difficulties. Perhaps they are simply struggling to fill in forms. Perhaps they just need a little parental guidance.
‘If you haven’t received good parenting yourself and you have a child, how do you know that it’s tea, bath, book, bed?’ says Kirstie. ‘How do you know if that hasn’t happened to you? And that is what Home-Start is about – it’s about volunteers helping vulnerable families. If you are feeling that your life is falling apart and some sensible person comes in and becomes your advocate, it makes all the difference.’
So should a healthy society always start at home?
‘I was in Tanzania with Comic Relief recently, who acknowledge that if you want to help people, you start with the mums because the mums have the concerns of the children at heart and if they are financially savvy and organised, they can sort things out for the family.
‘I’m not saying that fathers aren’t any good because I wouldn’t be without my partner for all the world – he is the boss of our house and the centre of our lives – but I do think it’s very positive if you are able to help a family, so that the mum feels secure and confident and is able to look after the children.
‘If the children are leaving the home with socks on after a decent breakfast, and if they are coming home and someone is helping them with their homework before going to bed at a decent hour, then they have far more chance of life going OK. ‘It does start in the home. Everything that I work on is about the home – whether that is commercial stuff or branded products or sheets, or initiatives like Keep Britain Tidy or Home-Start. It’s all about your community. I support Keep Britain Tidy, for example, because if you feel that your community is a nice place and you walk down your street and it’s clean and you know your neighbours, you feel confident and in control of your environment.’
So who ensures that her community now remains clear of Dandy’s deposits? ‘Err… well, that’ll be me,’ she laughs.
Kirstie’s Christmas Crafts, by Kirstie Allsopp, is published by Hodder & Stoughton, priced £20. For more about Home-Start UK, visit www.home-start.org.uk
Either way, Foxy and Kirstie became inseparable. ‘I had her before any children, before I met my partner, Ben. While I was searching for flats for people in the early days, she would come in the car. She was with me all the time.’
In fact, Kirstie has even dedicated her new book, Christmas Crafts, to her, ‘the best Christmas present I ever had’.
‘Foxy was just brilliant around the children. She came into my life when I was on my own and all the focus was on her and then suddenly I had my two stepsons – who were two and five when I met them – and then two sons of my own, too.
‘I once found her in the tree house – she had let one of the children climb into the tree house with her and obviously they had forgotten she was there and had gone and done something else. But she was incredibly tolerant about the whole thing.’
Earlier this year, however, Foxy died. ‘I was bereft,’ says Kirstie. ‘But my mum was amazing. When my parents lost their cat they were completely grief-stricken, so she anticipated that we had it in our genes to be absolutely heartbroken when we lost an animal, and found me another dog.’
Dandelion – or ‘Dandy’ – was an eight-week-old Border terrier puppy, living on a farm near Tiverton in Devon. And just days after losing her beloved Foxy, Kirstie had a new dog.
‘When Mum first called to tell me about Dandy, I thought, “No way! That’s too soon,” but I knew how hard she had worked to find her. And besides, getting a new pet doesn’t stop you missing the old one, but it is definitely a distraction. The two things run in parallel – the grief and excitement and the love of the new character.’
Dandy has settled right in, but certainly doesn’t suffer the children as gladly as her predecessor. ‘It’s really funny, she is much less tolerant of them than Foxy was. Foxy was very old and quite ill towards the end but Dandy just absolutely gives them what for.
‘In fact, having a puppy with small children [her sons are five and seven] is a nightmare,’ she adds. ‘All the things you have to teach the puppy, all the good habits, the children just completely ignore.
‘At first I tried to make it my eldest, Bay’s responsibility, but that didn’t work at all. One morning, I came downstairs and Bay was happily sitting in front of the television with the dog on his knee. I asked if he’d taken Dandy out and he said “no”, and I said, “Oh darling, you’ve got to take her out, so that she can do a poo,” and he said, “Oh no, Mum, she’s done a poo. It’s fine, she did one when I did one in the bathroom. Isn’t that clever?”
‘She had indeed done a poo in the bathroom, but it was in the middle of the floor.’
In fact, Kirstie, who is an ambassador for Keep Britain Tidy, has strong views about the responsibilities of dog ownership. Not least what owners should do with thei dog’s… err… deposits. For Kirstie, this is a zero-tolerance issue. ‘Oh, it’s very simple and it’s really interesting how much objection people have to this. It should be a £500 fine for leaving dog mess in a public place. And if you can’t, or won’t, pay, you should have to give up some time and do litter picking for four Saturdays or four Sundays.’
What particularly upsets her, however, is people picking up their dog’s mess, bagging it, and then leaving it hanging in a tree. ‘I have no truck with the complaints about the lack of bins because it is your responsibility to take it home. You don’t just poo in the street because there’s not a loo there. There are things that we think are acceptable and unacceptable and I think dropping litter should move from the acceptable to the unacceptable.
‘It’s the same with fag ends. It is your litter and your responsibility – take it home. We spend £1bn a year clearing up litter. How many vulnerable adults could we help, how many mental health nurses and home visitors could we employ for £1bn? I do not pay my taxes to have litter picked up; I pay my taxes to help vulnerable people.
‘There are a lot of votes in litter. If you mention it on Twitter, you get a huge response. So I have never understood why the past two governments haven’t got a grip and realised that it’s important to people. It seems a no-brainer to me. Who would stick up their hand and say. “I would like a filthy street”?’
As well as Foxy, Kirstie’s new book is dedicated to the work of Home-Start UK.
The charity’s mission is simple: ‘To help families with young children deal with whatever life throws at them.’ Perhaps they are dealing with postnatal depression, disability or financial difficulties. Perhaps they are simply struggling to fill in forms. Perhaps they just need a little parental guidance.
‘If you haven’t received good parenting yourself and you have a child, how do you know that it’s tea, bath, book, bed?’ says Kirstie. ‘How do you know if that hasn’t happened to you? And that is what Home-Start is about – it’s about volunteers helping vulnerable families. If you are feeling that your life is falling apart and some sensible person comes in and becomes your advocate, it makes all the difference.’
So should a healthy society always start at home?
‘I was in Tanzania with Comic Relief recently, who acknowledge that if you want to help people, you start with the mums because the mums have the concerns of the children at heart and if they are financially savvy and organised, they can sort things out for the family.
‘I’m not saying that fathers aren’t any good because I wouldn’t be without my partner for all the world – he is the boss of our house and the centre of our lives – but I do think it’s very positive if you are able to help a family, so that the mum feels secure and confident and is able to look after the children.
‘If the children are leaving the home with socks on after a decent breakfast, and if they are coming home and someone is helping them with their homework before going to bed at a decent hour, then they have far more chance of life going OK. ‘It does start in the home. Everything that I work on is about the home – whether that is commercial stuff or branded products or sheets, or initiatives like Keep Britain Tidy or Home-Start. It’s all about your community. I support Keep Britain Tidy, for example, because if you feel that your community is a nice place and you walk down your street and it’s clean and you know your neighbours, you feel confident and in control of your environment.’
So who ensures that her community now remains clear of Dandy’s deposits? ‘Err… well, that’ll be me,’ she laughs.
Kirstie’s Christmas Crafts, by Kirstie Allsopp, is published by Hodder & Stoughton, priced £20. For more about Home-Start UK, visit www.home-start.org.uk