Dear Thomas
We hear a lot about Abstainuary – no drinking in January and the latest diet thrown in for good measure. But what about digital detox, as I believe it’s called? Some people are completely addicted to their ‘devices’ and very rude as a result. Wouldn’t we all be better off if they spent January keeping right away from them?
Beth McArthur, Solihull
Dear Beth
Loud mobile phone conversations, disruptive browsing and checking emails when in company – according to a new survey conducted by digital PR specialist, Greenlight, 72% agree that technology is making us ruder as a nation. Greenlight do point out that telephones have always been blamed for bad manners.
Confused by the then new technology (in about 1912), my great-grandmother said, ‘Certainly not’ and slammed the phone down when the exchange, calling to check her newly installed line, asked for her number. Later on there were those who ‘listened in’ at the exchange or snooped on party lines. Plus the necessary abruptness of conversations because of the cost of calls. By the 1970s, with one line per household, there were those that hogged the instrument and annoyance re messages that hadn’t been passed on. So you could argue that now that we’ve all got our own private telephone, we’re less rude.
Loud conversations, particularly on public transport are, of course, annoying but it’s my impression that people are learning that you don’t have to shout. I really do believe that frequent complaint about this particular disruption has brought about change. Tell me if I’m wrong. Maybe it’s more that everybody assumes that technology equals rudeness. At major social occasions, at the dinner table, when with people you don’t know so well – ‘devices’ should be firmly out of sight. Do you get your phone out to Google a point of fact that’s come up in conversation? Yes, but put it away again at once.
There’s no doubt that some are addicted. Digital detox-uary is for them. Smartphones etc promote restlessness, a peculiar kind of obsessive wandering – you check one thing and that leads another thing you’ve got to check. Before you know it your head is full of useless information and you’re ignoring the people around you or not getting on with what you’re supposed to be doing, or both. But we don’t want to be too rigid about it.
Towards the end of even the most fabulous party, the phones will tend to come out. We can only stand so much of each other. Or there is a genuine call to be made to the babysitter or the emergency roofer. Or a text message to be sent to a friend in trouble or an elderly relation. Digital technology makes us antisocial in some ways – but in others we’re more connected to our fellow human beings than we ever were.
Please send your questions to thomas.blaikie@lady.co.uk or write to him at The Lady, 39-40 Bedford Street, London WC2E 9ER
WHAT TO DO ABOUT...The Dining Room
The dining room is dying. Have you noticed that yours is withering away? Mary Berry killed off hers at the Cheltenham literary festival in October: only used at Christmas – not worth it. A OnePoll study conducted by quality furniture retailer, Fishpools, reveals that 48% of people do not think that a dining room is a necessity. Forty-five percent of all ages eat mainly in the living room, and 18% devote their dining room to storage. Fair enough, a disused dining room does not mean that a family is not properly seated at a table in the kitchen for their meals, talking to each other and not watching TV. But I don’t like the sound of 45% eating in the living room. I’m sure this means they’ve got the telly on, they’re shovelling in TV dinners and becoming uncivilised. So if you’re looking for a New Year’s resolution, it could be: acquire a dining room and use it. Intriguingly, Mary Berry, having consigned the dining room to oblivion in October, has brought it straight back again. Plans for her new house at Henley include…well… a dining room.
