We must master urgent patience, says top Life Coach Carole Ann Rice
Are we there yet? If not why not? Feeling a bit car sick and jet lagged yet you haven’t moved from the discomfort of your holding spot?
Why is it taking so long? The “it” being life that happens between now and the things you want to happen. Can you jump this queue or push in? Pay someone to fast track you to over there where the good stuff is, where the answers lie and peace of mind is more delicious than an espresso martini downed in one. Well, almost.
What are you waiting for? No this isn’t a coach’s ‘ye-ha’ call to arms to teleport you from sofa to running track or to get you motivated for your New Year goals. But a genuine enquiry – are you sitting in the waiting room of life?
We are all waiting for something; the phone to ring, someone to notice our genius, the book to write itself, to feel well again, to get to a target weight, for this to be over.
Being patient is something we have to learn as adults but the inner child still balks at the time it all takes to get fit, learn a new language or start a business. We want instant results and on our terms. It’s easier not to bother. Yet patience is everything. It takes courage to trust in the unknown and to dig deep and have faith that all will be well. There’s something almost holy about it.
We are impatient to know the outcome and what life will deliver as the waiting tips into longing and then, sadly, despair. And perhaps even a hernia!
We can’t know the future yet we place our thoughts there and imagine both the best, and worst case scenarios and terrorise ourselves with impending doom.
We might even feel victimized by our impatience – why do I need to wait? Why can’t I know now? Why is it taking so long? What is the meaning? What if I never get what I want even though I invested time in the wait? What will become of me? Cue existential wail.
Looking back, you may find some solace in what you have learned from periods like this in the past. It seemed excruciating at the time and no amount of worrying would’ve affected the outcome. If you hadn’t waited you wouldn’t have learned what you did, met new folk and the answer came eventually, as it always does, and life went on, as it inevitably will.
So, if you are living in expectation of something portentous or troublesome, here are a few coaching tips to help ease the journey from the waiting room of misery to the magic of wise unfolding and yielding.
- Find things to relish in the now. Even the smallest things. Don’t put happiness on hold
- Try to let go of the need to control and know/plan everything. We can’t nor, should we try – we are psychic architects
- Ask yourself “will I be OK with whatever happens?” if the answer is yes you can let go of the anxiety
- Let go of the need for perfection
- Know that it will all become clear one day and trust the process that it all works out in the end
- Keep a journal of what you are learning in the waiting. It will be valuable in retrospect and for future use
- Raise a white flag and surrender. It will be if it's to be.
- Trust
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