Forget The To Do Lost – Time For The To Be List

Lady Life Lessons's picture

I will show you mine if you show me yours. But whatever your size I just know mine is bigger. 

The to-do list is the backbone of our day, a stick to beat our cellulite with and barometer of busyness, importance and procrastination.

Yes avoidance. Can't be just me who has the same names and same chores un-actioned and avoided with intent that appear on our to do lists every day? Sometimes for weeks. Then these people uncalled or un-emailed and the tasks un-touched, develop their own sort of dread power that has the ability to make cleaning hair out of the plug hole look like a desirable distraction.

But this newsletter isn't about how to be super-efficient (get up at 4am and do the darn things – easy!) because you do know deep down the how's, where and why's of your avoidance, which simply boils down to the fact that you don't want to.

All procrastination is about fear or avoidance of a perceived pain. Rejection, looking foolish, failing, succeeding, not knowing what to do, a sense of pointlessness or sheer cluelessness. There are a billion self-starting tips out there, just Google them – or add that to your towering to-do list. Rather, today I'm interested more in the “to be” list. 

Getting clear on why you are doing what you are doing and on what you want to achieve by doing it, is far more meaningful. The endless striving and pushing forward and stopping to wonder “why” is a great “mind the gap” experience. Instead of thinking what you have “to do” notice why you don't want to do a lot of the stuff that is dragging you down and making you shop, drink or seek oblivion via Jeremy Kyle. 

How about a “to be” list, which is about consciously accessing your joy every day, doing things that are so easy you can't believe you get paid to do it or diarising things that make your heart sing high-loud and proud like Pavarotti in tight pants.

What if the present was perfect and doing less gave you more? What if we didn't fill the void with actions and stuff and developed a soulful saunter approach to life (think Shaggy from Scooby Do)?  One pal, whose kids have 11 extra-curricular activities and who pants when she talks, said “I even rush when I speak like I'm racing to the full stop!”. 

Dump the to-do list (or just make it 3 super priorities you do first thing that will create progress), and here's a few ideas to help you replace busy with bliss:

  • Build in a treat every 90 minutes and notice the joy it brings.  A good coffee, using nice stationery, eating organic food, feeling the wind on your face, noticing the change of season.  It’s all about mindfully noticing.
  • Let go of past niggles. People do hurt us and it's our responsibility to process it and let it go. Or it becomes a vengeful point on our “to do” list!
  • If you are feeling overwhelmed learn to say “no”. No justification nor explanation. No is a complete sentence.
  • Drop perfectionism. You are MORE than good enough.
  • Learn the art of day dreaming. Let your subconscious show you the way. Drooling is optional.
  • We weren't supposed to do this on our own. Life I mean. So why not book a 30-minute consultation with me and see how your life could seriously upgrade. ​