Builder’s Tea
‘Everything stops for tea,’ sung Jack Buchanan in his 1935 comedy, Come Out Of The Pantry. ‘You remember Cleopatra had a date to meet Mark Antony at three. When he came an hour late she said, “You’ll have to wait.” For everything stops for tea.’ And for decades, his humorous proclamations held firm.
During the Second World War, for instance, when the armament factories were working at full throttle, those manning the machines would frequently give up their lunch hour, but (despite rationing) the afternoon tea break was still sacrosanct. ‘An opportunity for tea is regarded as beneficial both to health and output,’ proclaimed the Ministry For Munitions guidelines.
Hot, sweet, the colour of wet sand and capable of dying white linen, worker’s (or builder’s) tea has been standard fare for anyone who is happy to get their hands dirty. Even the Queen apparently drank her fair share while on ATS duty.
But no longer. Despite the fact that we, as a nation, consume an average of 165 million cups of tea a day – twice the number of coffee – it is no longer safe to assume that a mug of dark brown liquid will be received as a welcome gift by your builder. Even if there are two Rich Teas on the side. Carpenters can be particularly picky.
Admittedly, refusals from three separate workmen hardly amounts to a scientific study, but I fear it does indicate a growing trend. They prefer coffee; real coffee. An espresso machine in your kitchen is more likely to get you bumped up the joinery queue than hard cash, while a wireless tuned to Radio 4 will gain you entry to the smartest set of workmen.
Cakes or other incentives should be handmade and the milk semi-skimmed. The proximity of a deli that produces paninis and other exotic sandwiches is again seen as a tick in your favour. Before he was released into the community, my last builder was having his paninis delivered every lunchtime. Delivered!
I bumped into a neighbour last week who is having new wardrobes built in time for her mother-in-law’s annual festive visit. She couldn’t stop to talk as she needed to get smoked salmon for the joiner’s brunch. Has the world gone mad? Is that a rhetorical question?
Next week: Will Christmas happen
During the Second World War, for instance, when the armament factories were working at full throttle, those manning the machines would frequently give up their lunch hour, but (despite rationing) the afternoon tea break was still sacrosanct. ‘An opportunity for tea is regarded as beneficial both to health and output,’ proclaimed the Ministry For Munitions guidelines.
Hot, sweet, the colour of wet sand and capable of dying white linen, worker’s (or builder’s) tea has been standard fare for anyone who is happy to get their hands dirty. Even the Queen apparently drank her fair share while on ATS duty.
But no longer. Despite the fact that we, as a nation, consume an average of 165 million cups of tea a day – twice the number of coffee – it is no longer safe to assume that a mug of dark brown liquid will be received as a welcome gift by your builder. Even if there are two Rich Teas on the side. Carpenters can be particularly picky.
Admittedly, refusals from three separate workmen hardly amounts to a scientific study, but I fear it does indicate a growing trend. They prefer coffee; real coffee. An espresso machine in your kitchen is more likely to get you bumped up the joinery queue than hard cash, while a wireless tuned to Radio 4 will gain you entry to the smartest set of workmen.
Cakes or other incentives should be handmade and the milk semi-skimmed. The proximity of a deli that produces paninis and other exotic sandwiches is again seen as a tick in your favour. Before he was released into the community, my last builder was having his paninis delivered every lunchtime. Delivered!
I bumped into a neighbour last week who is having new wardrobes built in time for her mother-in-law’s annual festive visit. She couldn’t stop to talk as she needed to get smoked salmon for the joiner’s brunch. Has the world gone mad? Is that a rhetorical question?
Next week: Will Christmas happen